Couples Coaching & Facilitation

Are you caught in a painful loop?

While some couples see me to establish a baseline of connection or fine-tune a sticking point, many of you find me because you feel stuck and lost.

You keep having the same argument. Even when the content is different, the triggers and reactivity keep you spinning and unable to resolve anything.

Trust and communication are dented or even broken.

You’re feeling resentful. Or maybe you’ve moved past resentment and aren’t feeling much of anything.

The looping and the constant disconnect has become so unbearable you’re starting to fantasize about separating so you can feel some relief.

At the same time, you’ve invested so much in this relationship that you don’t just want to throw it away.

It’s time to shift or get off the pot.

Two people’s hands nearly touch, illustrating a need for relationship facilitation in the bay area.

  • "My partner and I had been through three "traditional" couples' therapists in four years by the time we started working with Staci in 2021. Since then, we have experienced a tremendous shift out of our old patterns that were keeping us stuck in familiar conflict loops. We are strong personalities who need to be held by an equally strong, compassionate facilitator. Staci has been that for us, and we are now equipped to support ourselves through conflict, unmediated. Simply-put, Staci helped us not only save our relationship, but also deepen it into the most loving iteration of our partnership yet."

    Heather O.

  • "My husband and I found ourselves stuck in some patterns we were having trouble escaping. Working with Staci helped us identify the different ways in which we were effectively communicating and relating, and how we were not. She helped us gain greater understanding of our own energies and how we could create a both-and world."

    Tina S.

  • "I trust Staci completely."

    Mel F.

  • "My beloved and I were fortunate to work with Staci over the course of 2+ years. Her skillful listening and pointed observations helped us to open to changes our relationship needed. The tools and practices along with having a place to talk it out together created a relationship container than holds us today. We would not have made it without her. Thank you, Staci for guiding and loving us."

    Teresa C.

  • "Staci's loving support and wise guidance helped me through a very challenging phase of my life. She not only helped me to make sense of a painful ending with a friend, she also helped me to 'make medicine' out of it. I feel deeply grateful for Staci's integrative approach, wisdom and loving care."

    Lindsay J.

  • "Staci's methods helped me see that healing power is not only real, it is within all of us. Sometimes what it takes is learning a few tools and a lot of support."

    Jay J.

  • "Staci does not lead you into deep places unattended."

    Catherine A.

  • "Staci is a patient and open-minded co-explorer into all the dynamics that sit between two people. She's not only a true listener, but has also mastered helping others really hear it too. When needed, Staci knows when to give tough love. She is deft at calling out unhelpful behavior while maintaining her credibility as a neutral mediator. I cannot recommend her enough for couples who are having trouble understanding one another."

    Adam V.

Are you ready to let go?

To respect your time, I’m going to say the hard part up front.

If you want to see if it’s possible to heal and revitalize your relationship, the first step is a willingness to let go.

Letting go starts with the awareness that the current form of your relationship, and all the hopes and dreams it’s carried, no longer works.

Basically, the current form of your relationship needs to die.

It probably already has but the stakes are so high, it’s been hard to face.

Even if only one of you feels this way, it’s true for you both.

Only now you’ve reached a point that the only way out is through.

Take a deep breath, because there’s some good news here.

Letting go doesn’t have to be a final ending but can become a path towards rebirth.

In other words, just because part of your relationship needs to shift, doesn’t mean it’s over.

If you can really let go, it’s possible to develop a different kind of trust, love and connection with each other.

One person hands another a flower, illustrating the power of couples somatic coaching in Pacifica.

  • "My husband and I found ourselves stuck in some patterns we were having trouble escaping. Working with Staci helped us identify the different ways in which we were effectively communicating and relating, and how we were not. She helped us gain greater understanding of our own energies and how we could create a both-and world."

    Tina S.

  • "My partner and I had been through three "traditional" couples' therapists in four years by the time we started working with Staci in 2021. Since then, we have experienced a tremendous shift out of our old patterns that were keeping us stuck in familiar conflict loops. We are strong personalities who need to be held by an equally strong, compassionate facilitator. Staci has been that for us, and we are now equipped to support ourselves through conflict, unmediated. Simply-put, Staci helped us not only save our relationship, but also deepen it into the most loving iteration of our partnership yet."

    Heather O.

  • "I trust Staci completely."

    Mel F.

  • "My beloved and I were fortunate to work with Staci over the course of 2+ years. Her skillful listening and pointed observations helped us to open to changes our relationship needed. The tools and practices along with having a place to talk it out together created a relationship container than holds us today. We would not have made it without her. Thank you, Staci for guiding and loving us."

    Teresa C.

  • "Staci's loving support and wise guidance helped me through a very challenging phase of my life. She not only helped me to make sense of a painful ending with a friend, she also helped me to 'make medicine' out of it. I feel deeply grateful for Staci's integrative approach, wisdom and loving care."

    Lindsay J.

  • "Staci's methods helped me see that healing power is not only real, it is within all of us. Sometimes what it takes is learning a few tools and a lot of support."

    Jay J.

  • "Staci does not lead you into deep places unattended."

    Catherine A.

  • "Staci is a patient and open-minded co-explorer into all the dynamics that sit between two people. She's not only a true listener, but has also mastered helping others really hear it too. When needed, Staci knows when to give tough love. She is deft at calling out unhelpful behavior while maintaining her credibility as a neutral mediator. I cannot recommend her enough for couples who are having trouble understanding one another."

    Adam V.

You can grow a new relationship

No matter how shitty things seem now, nature reveals how rich compost can become fertile soil for a blooming garden.

As a seasoned relationship midwife, my role is to hold space for you to transform your relationship, and your life.

Often, codependency is involved. Here, we draw upon a tool I’ve been living and teaching for 25 years to practice making room for two.

You learn how to listen to each other.

To slow down that argument enough to catch the trigger points and see what’s inside.

This will support compassion and acceptance.

It will calm reactivity so that you can hear each other better and discover new ways to relate.

Daily life can become your training ground for shifting a painful look into a kind moment.

You explore how to let go of your old relationship without allowing fear about the future to spin you into frozen overwhelm.

You start accepting each other’s differences.

Usually everyone has something to claim in a painful interaction. Beyond right or wrong is a both/and place where many perspectives can exist at once.

Interested? the next step is a free 30 minute Zoom
Two people kneel before one another, illustrating the closeness that can come from couples somatic coaching in Pacifica.

  • "My beloved and I were fortunate to work with Staci over the course of 2+ years. Her skillful listening and pointed observations helped us to open to changes our relationship needed. The tools and practices along with having a place to talk it out together created a relationship container than holds us today. We would not have made it without her. Thank you, Staci for guiding and loving us."

    Teresa C.

  • "My husband and I found ourselves stuck in some patterns we were having trouble escaping. Working with Staci helped us identify the different ways in which we were effectively communicating and relating, and how we were not. She helped us gain greater understanding of our own energies and how we could create a both-and world."

    Tina S.

  • "My partner and I had been through three "traditional" couples' therapists in four years by the time we started working with Staci in 2021. Since then, we have experienced a tremendous shift out of our old patterns that were keeping us stuck in familiar conflict loops. We are strong personalities who need to be held by an equally strong, compassionate facilitator. Staci has been that for us, and we are now equipped to support ourselves through conflict, unmediated. Simply-put, Staci helped us not only save our relationship, but also deepen it into the most loving iteration of our partnership yet."

    Heather O.

  • "I trust Staci completely."

    Mel F.

  • "Staci's loving support and wise guidance helped me through a very challenging phase of my life. She not only helped me to make sense of a painful ending with a friend, she also helped me to 'make medicine' out of it. I feel deeply grateful for Staci's integrative approach, wisdom and loving care."

    Lindsay J.

  • "Staci is a patient and open-minded co-explorer into all the dynamics that sit between two people. She's not only a true listener, but has also mastered helping others really hear it too. When needed, Staci knows when to give tough love. She is deft at calling out unhelpful behavior while maintaining her credibility as a neutral mediator. I cannot recommend her enough for couples who are having trouble understanding one another."

    Adam V.

  • "Staci's methods helped me see that healing power is not only real, it is within all of us. Sometimes what it takes is learning a few tools and a lot of support."

    Jay J.

  • "Staci does not lead you into deep places unattended."

    Catherine A.

Creating room for two facilitates a new capacity to love, connect, and remember a sense of humor.

From there, being different can become a source of strength, and excitement.

During fragile moments, I’ll talk you off the ledge if you’re about to sabotage your progress.

I will also hold you both with clarity and compassion as your relationship changes form.

That’s because, I’ve learned to trust that there is no faking surrender. Sometimes really letting go means sitting in the unknown without a guarantee of rebirth.

It’s damn uncomfortable.

And yet, when you truly let go, form can rearrange itself into awe inspiring new beginnings.

If you’re both willing, you can create a whole new relationship, without starting over with other people.

As you talk, laugh, disagree and learn together, you can arrive at a stronger, more joyful and peaceful place inside yourself, and with each other.

Two people embrace by the ocean, illustrating the power of relationship facilitation in the bay area.

  • "Staci's loving support and wise guidance helped me through a very challenging phase of my life. She not only helped me to make sense of a painful ending with a friend, she also helped me to 'make medicine' out of it. I feel deeply grateful for Staci's integrative approach, wisdom and loving care."

    Lindsay J.

  • "My beloved and I were fortunate to work with Staci over the course of 2+ years. Her skillful listening and pointed observations helped us to open to changes our relationship needed. The tools and practices along with having a place to talk it out together created a relationship container than holds us today. We would not have made it without her. Thank you, Staci for guiding and loving us."

    Teresa C.

  • "My husband and I found ourselves stuck in some patterns we were having trouble escaping. Working with Staci helped us identify the different ways in which we were effectively communicating and relating, and how we were not. She helped us gain greater understanding of our own energies and how we could create a both-and world."

    Tina S.

  • "My partner and I had been through three "traditional" couples' therapists in four years by the time we started working with Staci in 2021. Since then, we have experienced a tremendous shift out of our old patterns that were keeping us stuck in familiar conflict loops. We are strong personalities who need to be held by an equally strong, compassionate facilitator. Staci has been that for us, and we are now equipped to support ourselves through conflict, unmediated. Simply-put, Staci helped us not only save our relationship, but also deepen it into the most loving iteration of our partnership yet."

    Heather O.

  • "I trust Staci completely."

    Mel F.

  • "Staci is a patient and open-minded co-explorer into all the dynamics that sit between two people. She's not only a true listener, but has also mastered helping others really hear it too. When needed, Staci knows when to give tough love. She is deft at calling out unhelpful behavior while maintaining her credibility as a neutral mediator. I cannot recommend her enough for couples who are having trouble understanding one another."

    Adam V.

  • "Staci's methods helped me see that healing power is not only real, it is within all of us. Sometimes what it takes is learning a few tools and a lot of support."

    Jay J.

  • "Staci does not lead you into deep places unattended."

    Catherine A.

How we can work together

Letting go includes navigating uncertainty to actualize change.

Shifting how you talk to each other requires practice. Forgiveness takes time. Discovering new (FUN!) ways to connect often means dating each other again.

It took years for you to arrive at this stuck place, and it’s going to take some time to see what you need to move forward.

If you never really loved your partner or are truly done, I can’t make a miracle, but I can support a kinder completion. This will serve as better foundation for the future, especially around co-parenting.

But if you want to see if you can forge a new and better connection, I need you to commit, show up regularly, and be real in the room.

It’s also essential that you practice being more aware and making shifts when you’re at home.

True relationship takes time to grow, but it’s a worthwhile investment.

I’ve found that 90-minute sessions twice a month provides great support for clarity and change. This also makes sessions more affordable and convenient than weekly coaching or counseling.

To determine if we’re a fit, the next step is to schedule a free 30-minute Zoom.

Yes, I want to meet
Cost of Sessions
One person hugs another, illustrating the power of couples somatic coaching in Pacifica.

What am I like in the room?

My style is loving but direct. Non-judgemental yet compassionate, I’m people-savvy and quick to identify complicated dynamics. I love coming up with practical ways to forge new connections.

I’m a certified somatic and life coach with over 25 years of facilitating individuals and groups. I’ve also been in a soulful 30+ year relationship with my husband and we’ve raised two kids, now in their late-twenties.

Women tend to feel at home with me and men like my no-bullshit form of compassion. I come from a non-traditional rainbow family and have held space for queer couples. This makes me an excellent ally for partners, from all directions.

Usually, we focus through conversation. But I’m also happy to offer somatic practices, guided imagery and ceremony to facilitate connection.

To begin, it’s important to schedule a free 30-minute Zoom to see if we’re a good fit, or not.

Book Your Free 30 Minute Zoom Now

  • "Staci's methods helped me see that healing power is not only real, it is within all of us. Sometimes what it takes is learning a few tools and a lot of support."

    Jay J.

  • "Staci's loving support and wise guidance helped me through a very challenging phase of my life. She not only helped me to make sense of a painful ending with a friend, she also helped me to 'make medicine' out of it. I feel deeply grateful for Staci's integrative approach, wisdom and loving care."

    Lindsay J.

  • "My beloved and I were fortunate to work with Staci over the course of 2+ years. Her skillful listening and pointed observations helped us to open to changes our relationship needed. The tools and practices along with having a place to talk it out together created a relationship container than holds us today. We would not have made it without her. Thank you, Staci for guiding and loving us."

    Teresa C.

  • "My husband and I found ourselves stuck in some patterns we were having trouble escaping. Working with Staci helped us identify the different ways in which we were effectively communicating and relating, and how we were not. She helped us gain greater understanding of our own energies and how we could create a both-and world."

    Tina S.

  • "My partner and I had been through three "traditional" couples' therapists in four years by the time we started working with Staci in 2021. Since then, we have experienced a tremendous shift out of our old patterns that were keeping us stuck in familiar conflict loops. We are strong personalities who need to be held by an equally strong, compassionate facilitator. Staci has been that for us, and we are now equipped to support ourselves through conflict, unmediated. Simply-put, Staci helped us not only save our relationship, but also deepen it into the most loving iteration of our partnership yet."

    Heather O.

  • "I trust Staci completely."

    Mel F.

  • "Staci is a patient and open-minded co-explorer into all the dynamics that sit between two people. She's not only a true listener, but has also mastered helping others really hear it too. When needed, Staci knows when to give tough love. She is deft at calling out unhelpful behavior while maintaining her credibility as a neutral mediator. I cannot recommend her enough for couples who are having trouble understanding one another."

    Adam V.

  • "Staci does not lead you into deep places unattended."

    Catherine A.