Couples Coaching & Facilitation

“My partner and I had been through three ‘traditional’ couples' therapists in four years by the time we started working with Staci in 2021. Since then, we have experienced a tremendous shift out of our old patterns that were keeping us stuck in familiar conflict loops. We are strong personalities who need to be held by an equally strong, compassionate facilitator. Staci has been that for us, and we are now equipped to support ourselves through conflict, unmediated. Simply-put, Staci helped us not only save our relationship, but also deepen it into the most loving iteration of our partnership yet.”

— Helen O.

Shift or get off the pot

While some couples see me to establish a baseline of connection or fine-tune a sticking point, many of you find me because you don’t know if you can take it anymore.

Trust and communication is broken.

Unmet needs may have cemented into resentment.

The arguments, the stuck patterns, the pain and the constant disconnect has become more unbearable than the fear of loss, separation and financial ruin.

It’s time to shift or get off the pot.

Two people’s hands nearly touch, illustrating a need for relationship facilitation in the bay area.

I’m a relationship midwife

In my work with couples, I draw upon 25 years of personal process facilitation and a deep practice of guiding people through surrender.

Yes, surrender.

Rather than giving up, I hold surrender as a choice to let go.

This means recognizing that the form of your relationship, and all the hopes and dreams it’s carried, is no longer working.

To be blunt, the current form of your relationship needs to die.

It probably already has but the stakes are so high, it’s been too frightening to face.

Even if only one of you feels this way, it’s true for you both.

Only now you’ve reached a point that the only way out is through.

Take a deep breath, because there’s some good news here.

This moment does not have to be a final ending but actually can become a portal for rebirth.

In other words, a part of your relationship needs to shift but that doesn’t necessarily mean it’s over.

If you can really let go, it’s possible to develop a different level trust, love and connection with each other.

One person hands another a flower, illustrating the power of couples somatic coaching in Pacifica.

“My beloved and I were fortunate to work with Staci over the course of 2+ years. Her skillful listening and pointed observations helped us to open to changes our relationship needed. The tools and practices along with having a place to talk it out together created a relationship container that holds us to this day. We would not have made it without her, and I still lean into her when things get tough. Thank you Staci, for guiding and loving us.”

— Teresa A.

You can grow a new relationship

No matter how shitty things seem now, nature reveals how rich compost can become fertile soil for a blooming garden.

As a relationship midwife, I hold space for you to transform your relationship, and your life.

Often, codependency is involved. Here, we draw upon a tool I’ve been living and teaching for 20 years to practice making room for two.

You learn how to receive each other’s truth as an invitation to both change and accept with compassion instead of reactivity.

I help you identify trust-eroding patterns but also discover new supportive ways to relate.

Daily life becomes your training ground for shifting a painful look into a kind moment.

You explore how to let go of your old relationship without allowing fear about the future to spin you into frozen overwhelm.

You start accepting each other’s differences.

Usually everyone has something to claim in a painful interaction. Beyond right or wrong is a both/and place where many perspectives can exist at once.

Two people kneel before one another, illustrating the closeness that can come from couples somatic coaching in Pacifica.

Creating room for two facilitates a new capacity to love, connect, and remember a sense of humor. From there, being different can become a source of strength, and excitement.

During fragile moments, I’ll talk you off the ledge if you’re about to sabotage your progress. I will also hold you both with fierce love inside hard unknown places as your relationship changes form.

That’s because, my honeys, I’ve learned to trust that there is no faking surrender. Sometimes really letting go means sitting in the unknown without a guarantee of rebirth.

And yet, when you truly surrender, form can rearrange itself into awe inspiring new beginnings.

If you’re both willing, you can create a whole new relationship, without starting over with other people.

As we talk, laugh, disagree, cry and learn together, you can arrive at a stronger, more joyful and peaceful place inside yourself, and with each other.

Two people embrace by the ocean, illustrating the power of relationship facilitation in the bay area.

What do I need from you?

Surrender includes letting go, navigating uncertainty and actualizing change.

Shifting how you talk to each other requires practice. Forgiveness takes time. Discovering new (FUN!) ways to connect often means dating each other again.

It took years for you to arrive at this stuck place, and it’s going to take some time to see what you need to move forward.

If you never really loved your partner or are truly done, I can’t make a miracle but I can support a kinder completion. This will serve as better foundation for the future, especially around co-parenting.

But if you want to see if you can forge a new and better connection, I need you to commit, show up regularly, and be real in the room.

It’s also essential that you practice being more aware and making shifts when you’re at home.

True relationship takes time to grow, but it’s a worthwhile investment.

I’ve found that 90 minute sessions twice a month provides great support for clarity and change.

To determine if we’re a fit, the next step is to schedule a free 30 minute Zoom.

One person hugs another, illustrating the power of couples somatic coaching in Pacifica.

What am I like in the room?

My style is loving but direct. I’m people-savvy and quick to identify complicated dynamics. I love coming up with practical ways to forge new connections.

I’ve got over 20 years of facilitating personal processes and energy healing work which includes leading groups and ceremonies. I’ve also been in a soulful 30-year relationship with my husband and we’ve raised two kids, now in their mid-twenties.

Women tend to feel at home with me and men like my no-bullshit form of compassion. I come from a non-traditional rainbow family and have held space for queer couples. This makes me an excellent ally for partners, from all directions.

If you’re not a believer in energy healing, we can focus through conversation. I’m also happy to offer couples guided imagery, energy healing and ceremony to facilitate connection.

To begin, it’s important to schedule a free 30 minute Zoom to see if we’re a good fit, or not.

  • "Staci Boden has been a steadfast guide for me over the past decade. Her skillful and compassionate insights have influenced my path greatly. She is fierce when it is called for, and a deep listener who nurtures as she teaches. I would not be the woman I am today wthout her support and love."

    Tasha A.

  • "My husband and I found ourselves stuck in some patterns we were having trouble escaping. Working with Staci helped us identify the different ways in which we were effectively communicating and relating, and how we were not. She helped us gain greater understanding of our own energies and how we could create a both-and world."

    Tina S.

  • "Staci's presence in my life has been unyielding and profound. With her support, I have been able to navigate living with depression and anxiety, going through major life/work/relationship transitions, and learning to work with the unknown and the unknowable. Staci never ceases to be a source of nurturance, guidance, and deep, deep care."

    Lisa L.

  • "My beloved and I were fortunate to work with Staci over the course of 2+ years. Her skillful listening and pointed observations helped us to open to changes our relationship needed. The tools and practices along with having a place to talk it out together created a relationship container than holds us today. We would not have made it without her. Thank you, Staci for guiding and loving us."

    Teresa C.

  • "Staci does not lead you into deep places unattended."

    Catherine A.

  • "I started seeing Staci because I felt boxed in and trapped - literally. Staci helped me transform the box and get in touch with aspects of my life that had been long buried. She's provided the space and support to allow those aspects to thrive and flourish, which has helped me grow as a person. I no longer feel trapped and boxed in, my anxiety has diminished, and I've started writing again."

    Carey H.

  • "Staci holds a sacred space better than anyone I have ever experienced."

    Greta V.

  • "With Staci I've begun a journey into my own truth - one I've been afraid to take for this entire lifetime. But it feels as though she holds my hand and grants me space where I can come to trust my own instincts, intuition, and wisdom. When I'm overwhelmed I can rely on the tools I've found instead of various addictions. Sessions with Staci are the most worthwhile work I've ever done."

    Diana C.

  • "Staci Boden is a spiritual midwife, holding you in her arms as you deliver yourself from the pain of the past. I will give you this warning: Do not step into this process with Staci unless you are truly prepared to awaken that which has been sleeping, deep inside of you, for far too long."

    Gwen B.

  • "Staci was a clear, gentle and yet, ever present grounding force that helped me harness my own inner strength to leave an abusive relationship. From there, she's been a touchstone and guide for expanding into my own self-love and self-supportive capacity in its many permutations. I'm so grateful for the depths of Staci's innate wisdom and practical knowledge."

    Jadyn D.

  • "Staci's methods helped me see that healing power is not only real, it is within all of us. Sometimes what it takes is learning a few tools and a lot of support."

    Jay J.

  • "The unique earth-based wise-woman energy healing that Staci offers has allowed me to sit with and move through some of the most difficult transitions in my life with awareness and grace. Her sessions are just the right combination of talk (checking-in), energy work and assessment. I always feel seen, held, and lighter afterwards."

    Hannah E.

  • "Recently I was struck by the (rather frightening) realization that, without Staci, I may have lived the rest of my life having never experienced the profound insight, awareness and healing this deep sacred work offers. Staci is the real deal. Where other practices I've tried have been more saccharine, her teaching is sweet honey, straight from the bee."

    Jenny B.

  • "I trust Staci completely."

    Mel F.

  • "Staci's loving support and wise guidance helped me through a very challenging phase of my life. She not only helped me to make sense of a painful ending with a friend, she also helped me to 'make medicine' out of it. I feel deeply grateful for Staci's integrative approach, wisdom and loving care."

    Lindsay J.

  • "I am forever grateful to Staci and her beautiful book, which came into my life at a time when I was spinning in circles. Nothing compares to the loving container she upholds, the deep energy work and her mama bear presence. Thank you Staci for the ongoing space holding and guidance as I step into my heart work. Much love!"

    Sam L.

  • "I'm in Michigan, so Staci and I work via Skype but she may as well be sitting right next to me. If I'm visualizing sitting by the sea, she will, in that exact moment, mention the sea. If an animal friend or spirit guide shows up for me, Staci knows it immediately. She can detect the precise sensations in my body and intuit how to work that energy. It's uncanny. I may never understand how she does this, but I'm just so grateful for her deep, powerful work."

    Liz J.